Monday, December 8, 2014

Unapologetic, Unpretty, Un-pit-iful

Social media has given rise to the dreaded selflies, and love it or hate it, they are not going away any time soon. While the content of a selfie is always the same, the context can vary innumerably, and the way in which a selfie is presented says everything. Take for example, the term "belfie," adapted from "selfie," it is used to describe a more specific region of the self… the butt. It is a huge trend among female Instagrammers, the most famous "belfier" being non other than Jen Selter, whose ass defies all laws of skinny-jewish-white-girl anatomy. God bless her.



That being said, a woman's physique, her face, her hair, her makeup, her clothing, is yet again put on display in some ridiculous objectification of a female. Pieces of her are picked apart and placed under a microscope; a giant, virtual microscope for all who come across to analyze. And as image sharing becomes our main form of communication, female notoriety becomes less and less of a meritocracy. Not that it ever was to begin with! But the practice of valuing a woman based solely on her appearance certainly isn't aided by rampant social media whoring.

Sometimes I am myself irresistibly drawn by the lure of selfie sharing.  There are times when I'm desperately tempted to participate after a good squat session at the gym. I can't help but stand in the mirror with my phone chanting, "Must… resist… belfie!"

So it seems an unlikely place for a feminist movement to arise, especially one as subversive and "un-pretty" as this. Ladies and gentlemen- the armpit hair. More specifically female armpit hair. Allowing one's feminine hairy bits to grow freely is hardly a new feminist concept. But growing it out and dying the hair all sorts of bold colors is another story. Rather than privately abiding by one's personal preference this new practice DEMANDS that people take notice of the choice. If you saw a woman standing in front of you in line at the grocery store with bright purple armpit hair you would do more than just stare. This trend is not conventionally beautiful, but it is thought provoking to say the least.



When I first discovered this story I was taken back by the images of women proudly flaunting their hairy pits. It made me slightly uneasy. I of course was not alone in this as I surveyed the responses from the public which ranged from being mildly off-put to outright disgusted.

I had to think about why this is a subject of such contention to begin with?

Even when scripted film or television attempts to portray a survival scenario, (think films like Alien or Blue Lagoon, or series like Lost or The Walking Dead), taking pains with details like unkempt hair, a dirty face, tattered clothing, there is always one thing that remains uncompromised in an outright betrayal of authenticity-the women always maintain pristine pits.

Having bare armpits was not customary in the United States until the early 1920's, coinciding with the time when sleeveless dresses were coming into fashion. In fact it's been more specifically attributed to the May 1915 issue of Harper's Bazaar, in which an ad was featured with a young woman in a sleeveless dress posed with both arms over her head. From that point on, shaved pits have become de rigeur to femininity.

But what if the advertisers had not shaved her armpits? What if every ad thereafter portrayed women with their arms raised, hair and all? It is possible that this perfect hairless paragon would never come about. And if it didn't, would we still be as put-off by such images of a female body? I'd like to think not. As I sift through the pictures of these female hipster revolutionaries I find that the novelty wares off rather quickly, and I am no more bothered by the sight of armpit hair than I am by a bad haircut. It just… is.

Don't fear, people. I don't anticipate a one-upman's trend of outgrown lady-mustaches or uni-brows. There is a purpose behind this movement and it is not by any means to be beautiful. It is meant to tell other women that it is okay to let your body be. If you want to keep your armpit hair, keep it! If you don't, shave it! The point is that it is your choice! And I'm on board with any movement that gives personal choices back to women.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Panera Bread, Potato Blood, and Loneliness

I've switched locations today in an attempt to mix things up; give myself a new environment, a new flow of creativity. So now I'm sitting at a Panera bread wishing I had just stuck to Starbucks. There's no music to drown out the sounds of unofficial lunch meetings and girls in "study groups" taking selfies. Instead of the beautiful whir of espresso machines there's just the clanging of silverware on plastic trays. I would say it feels like my high school cafeteria except this is "fancy." As in, I just spent $9 for a coffee and a scoop of tuna wrapped in a piece of lettuce fancy. Glutton for punishment I am!

Anyway.

I was supposed to see friends last week. People from college I haven't seen since last Christmas. We were all excited until the time came to solidify our plans- at which point everyone turns into the tentative, noncommittal weirdos that have taken over our generation like the pod people. We were supposed to go bowling and then go out for drinks. Bowling would at least give us all something to do, something to interact with and bond over. Nothing gets people relaxed and laughing like a little friendly competition.

Oh right, and alcohol. As expected, everyone bailed last minute on the bowling idea and decided to just meet for drinks. I've come to realize that if plans involve anything outside of meeting at a bar to get hammered there is no interest. I ended up bailing on the meetup altogether because a) I have no interest in meeting people in a place where I can barely hear myself think and b) Just before I was supposed to go I... had an accident.

I was attempting to make some homemade sweet potato chips using my handy little mandolin slicer and I mandolin sliced my fucking thumb. Curse you, kitchen gods!
Don't' get me wrong, it's an excellent tool, but a word of advice: Do not use it without a hand protector. Blood soaked sweet potato is awfully tangy. So that put a damper on the night. Of course my sliced thumb was also a convenient cop-out. Technically I could have gone… but at the same time I just couldn't.



A recent study was published to the Psychological Bulletin entitled Loneliness is a disease that changes the brain's structure and function. Taking an excerpt from the brain research digest,

"Functional imaging evidence also shows lonely people have a suppressed neural response to rewarding social stimuli, which reduces their excitement about possible social contact; they also have dampened activity in brain areas involved in predicting what others are thinking – possibly a defence mechanism based on the idea that it’s better not to know. All this adds up to what the authors characterise as a social "self-preservation mode."

So basically, loneliness has the proven potential to perpetuate itself. Lonely people self isolate. I can obviously attest to this. So how to break the cycle?


Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?